Day 2 report
I was cold this morning when I woke up. The temps dropped a lot last night. I was awake and up well before the alarm went off, but still had a tough time dragging my self out of bed. I stumbled through my morning and probably wasted some time.
I got out on my bike by 5:40.
Distance: 7.65 miles
Elevation gain: 213ft
I arrived at work and realized that I forgot my work ID, which makes work very complicated. Then I went to shower and I realized that I had not properly prepared the night before so I didn’t have my towel with me. This makes me feel scattered.
I was a bit dizzy during the ride, but didn’t stop for food or water.
¼ c trail mix
2 cups fresh strawberries
¾ cup of coffee (with some non-dairy creamer. I am going to make an effort to have my coffee more and more black.
Crap. I am hungry. Or am I just craving food? Or am I just bored? Would love to eat . . . but not sure what I would choose if I could choose anything. Don’t even think I have money here. I am going to chill out and try to get through a liter of water. If I am still hungry at that point I will have to make a plan.
10:30 Already through half of my water and already feeling better. If I am still legitimately hungry at 11:00, maybe I will have a piece of cheese. But I don’t want to eat if I am not really hungry. It is such a bad habit. Sometimes I think it is boredom mixed with anxiety mixed with sadness.
Some hippy, dippy bowl that Sue made. Feeling unsettled. Very bored at work today. Literally nothing to do. The food was ok, but I didn’t like the texture. I really want a dessert, but instead I am having some gum. Still haven’t made it through my water bottle….
I am going to leave to go on a walk.
I laid in the sun and even thought it was a bit cold, when the sun came out it felt so warm and nice. I came back to my desk feeling refreshed.
I did good until 2:00 when they an international treat day. I could have chosen a lot worse, but I probably got more food than I needed. Also a giant Toblerone. Well, it was full sized anyway. I don’t feel good about how much I indulged in, but I know that at a different time I would have been far worse. I think my next challenge is not going for more food in the cafeteria when I think no one is watching.
I took a risk and got Pete to let me help him do an FCO. I have to admit that it is kind of embarrassing. You ask people questions and it is like no one really knows the answer, so they kind of shoo you off. Hopefully this means that if I put myself out there today I will learn something and will be able to have some more confidence as I move toward the next level. I am not sure that is true, but I am getting no where by not taking risks. Then I take it to my boss to sign the FCO and I have already signed I the spot that he is supposed to sign in. Right now I am waiting for Peter to come back so I can ask him more questions. I learned something and once I get the answer to my questions I will venture back out and try to do a better job and not feeling embarrassed.
So that is how I feel. I feel foolish. I feel frustrated. I feel confused. I want to feel confident, competent, and useful.
My body/My health
I rode my bike to work
Took my asthma medicine
Ordered a respirator for when I am working in the garage. I spend all this money and time getting better at running, but then I don’t take care of my lungs. Shame on me. I need to wear the respirator and glasses when I am working with power tools. A moment of carelessness or misfortune can change your life.
My mind/my job
Took the initiative to ask Peter to let me help him with an FCO. It is hard and embarrassing, but I am pushing through and want to be proactive about expanding my capabilities at my company. I also spent free time reading about components.
Horray! I survived the week and the day. I got my first FCO turned in. I talked to a bunch of new people trying to get into my closed room, and I learned a bunch of new stuff about transmission lines and VSWR that is finally starting to stick.